Shame

Shame is as sickening a feeling as it is a fascinating subject of study. I think about all the ways I feel shame and about how early it started.  I am not on a couch in a therapist’s office and don’t want to peel back the layers right now. By the way, that’s not to say I haven’t been on that couch over the years. In fact, I think if we all had some therapy, the world would be a better place. However, I don’t have the time nor the inclination to get that deep right now. I do, though, have just enough of each plus some sass for stream of consciousness to flow.

It starts with our sexuality, and the shaming of females who have any sexual desire. Oh, and G-d forbid a girl in adolescence or young adulthood should masturbate. It's so silly and backward, yet society perpetuates the idea by calling girls "sluts", "whores", and so on. Yet, it's touted as so sexy for two women to make out. What? From fashion to music and beyond, women are shamed and humiliated. Mixed messages abound, and the  media fuels the fire. Society needs to make up its mind. Are we natural sexual beings or whores?

We grow up, and regardless of whether or not we have children, we then struggle with self image. Almost all of us have some shame associated with our bodies. Again, thanks to society and the media, if we don't fit the sex symbol mold of the most current "it girl", we are shrouded in shame. It's so demoralizing.

I don't like to play victim, so I am not doing this as the "woe is me" type rant. True, I am not thrilled with how my body has changed and settled into itself since I gave birth to my sons. However, I am the only one to blame for not embracing those changes and being more grateful for this body.  I have all my parts minus a bum thyroid that had to be removed, and they work well for the most part. And, this body gets me through each day. Somehow though, it's hard to accept oneself as is.  I think in most facets of our lives, we want more. Is society/media also to blame for that? Or are we just inherently greedy people?

There are few things truly worthy of shame. We really should reserve the right to use it, and use it thoughtfully.